高效能人士的七个习惯——英文原文及译文十二、十三

【英文原文十二】

As we look back and survey the terrain to determine where we've been and where we are in relationship to where we're going, we clearly see that we could not have gotten where we are without coming the way we came. There aren't any other roads; there aren't any shortcuts. There's no way to parachute into this terrain. The landscape ahead is covered with the fragments of broken relationships of people who have tried. They've tried to jump into effective relationships without the maturity, the strength of character, to maintain them.

But you just can't do it； you simply have to travel the road. You can't be successful with other people if you haven't paid the price of success with yourself.

【译文】

当我们回顾过去，调查地形，以确定我们曾经去过的地方，以及我们所处的位置与我们要去的地方的关系时，我们清楚地看到，如果不走我们来的路，我们就不可能到达我们现在的地方。这里没有其他的路；没有任何捷径。没有办法在这种地形上跳伞。前方的风景布满了尝试过的人破碎关系的碎片。他们试图跳进一段有效的关系，却没有成熟、没有性格的力量来维持这种关系。

但你就是做不到；你就是要走这条路。如果你没有在自己身上付出成功的代价，你就不可能在别人身上成功。

【英文原文十三】

Real self-respect comes from dominion over self, from true independence. And that's the focus of Habits 1, 2, and 3. Independence is an achievement. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve real independence, it's foolish to try to develop human-relations skills. We might try. We might even have some degree of success when the sun is shining. But when the difficult times come--and they will --we won't have the foundation to keep things together.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human-relations techniques (the personality ethic) rather than from our own inner core (the character ethic), others will sense that duplicity. We simply won't be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

The techniques and skills that really make a difference in human interaction are the ones that almost naturally flow from a truly independent character. So the place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our Circle of Influence, our own character. As we become independent -proactive, centered in correct principles, value driven and able to organize and execute around the priorities in our life with integrity-- we then can choose to become interdependent -- capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people.

【译文】

真正的自尊来自于对自我的支配，来自于真正的独立。这就是习惯1、2、3的重点。独立是一种成就。相互依赖是只有独立的人才能做出的选择。除非我们愿意实现真正的独立，否则试图培养人际关系技巧是愚蠢的。我们可以试一试。在阳光明媚的时候，我们甚至可能取得某种程度的成功。但是，当困难时期到来时——困难时刻一定会到来——我们就没有了使事情保持在一起的基础。

我们在任何关系中最重要的因素不是我们说什么或做什么，而是我们是谁。如果我们的言语和行为来自肤浅的人际关系技巧(人格伦理)，而不是来自我们自己的内在核心(品格伦理)，其他人就会感觉到这种表里矛盾。我们根本无法创造和维持有效的相互依存所必需的基础。

真正在人际交往中发挥作用的技巧和技能，是那些几乎自然地从一个真正独立的性格中产生的。所以开始建立任何关系的地方都是在我们自己的内心，在我们的影响圈里，在我们自己的性格里。当我们变得独立——积极主动，以正确的原则为中心，以价值为导向，能够正直地组织和执行我们生活中的优先事项——我们就可以选择变得相互依赖——能够与其他人建立丰富、持久、高效的关系。