翻译练习：怎样走出分手的阴影（三）

（接上文）

（5）我从那些网络播主或Youtuber分享的失恋经历中获得解脱

“我知道这听起来有点假，不过在播客或Youtube上听听其他人的经验确实让我觉得好受了一些。具体来说，我关注了艾玛·张伯伦（一位网络播主）的频道：她每天都会分享相关的情感话题，包括她自己的恋爱交往经验，以及她是如何从失败的恋情中成长并重拾自信的。”

——艾莉森·T

（6）将分手视作重建人际关系的契机

“恋爱失败使我意识到自己之前并没有正确地梳理人际关系的次序。分手后我将朋友和重要的人们放在生活中更重要的位置上。”

——凯昂·W

（7）有意识地给自己留出伤感的时间

“但我不会让自己彻底沉浸在悲伤里。因此，我允许自己哭泣30分钟，然后告诉自己今天就到这里，然后去做别的事情。我也试过培养一些新的兴趣爱好，从中找回自我并收获快乐。”

——P·K

（8）学会摆脱前任在自己生活中留下的影子

“即使在幻想中前男友对我温柔有加、百依百顺，但我仍然清醒地知道这只是自欺欺人，仅能带来暂时的慰藉。在夜里我仍旧会感到心痛，而唯一能拯救我的只有自己。”

——卡特莉娜·A

（9）将怨忿和不快写下来

“写下来，在分手后重读一遍，提醒自己这就是这段感情结束的原因。”

——艾尔比·S

（未完待续）

（以下是原文）

We Asked 13 People What Finally Helped Them Get Over a Bad Breakup

Like most people going through a breakup, my high school self wanted nothing more than a guardian angel to tell me exactly how to get over a certain someone. Instead, I kept getting hit with well-meaning but entirely unhelpful clichés. “It’ll get better.” “Everything happens for a reason.” “Time heals all wounds.” These platitudes may hold some truth, but rarely did they make me feel any better. What did make a difference? Hearing the perspectives of friends who had walked in my very sad shoes - which reassured me that, like them, I would also be okay.

Whether you’re dealing with the end of a long-term partnership or a very real situationship, one thing is for certain: Every healing process is as unique as the person going through it, and there’s no quick fix for moving on. That said, knowing you’re not alone and hearing from other breakup survivors, can be a validating source of comfort, couples psychologist Niloo Dardashti, PhD, previously told SELF.

That’s exactly why we asked 13 people about the best thing they did (or learned) that helped them finally move on from their ex - to help you feel a little less isolated and a lot more hopeful for the future.

(1) I made a point to tend to my health.

“I saw myself go into a spiral for weeks after my breakup. I’d wake up and stay in bed all day either crying or taking short naps, barely eating, and avoiding interaction with anyone. However, I soon realized that not taking care of my body was just prolonging the recovery process. So I started being more intentional about tending to my health with the little things - like eating, going for walks, and reconnecting with friends - which helped me get out of the rut.”

- Ananya J.

(2) I had one last conversation with my ex.

“The point was to go over some final questions that I was comfortable hearing the answers to (like the reason for the breakup, how long they were feeling this way, and anything I could have done differently during our time together), so I wasn’t left wondering or coming to my own conclusions. Then, zero contact after that.”

- Isabella A.

(3) I wrote out my thoughts and feelings.

“I started keeping a journal. Consistently putting words on the page helped me process my feelings better, and it also forced me to come up with other ideas and goals for myself, which made it easier to move forward.”

- Daniel U.

(4) I surrounded myself with the people who understood and loved me most.

“In my relationship, I was so focused on the ‘we’ and ‘us’ that I sort of lost my individuality, so my friends and family helped me remember who I am. They lifted me up and took my mind off of things. When I felt really lonely, I knew I could lean on them for company and positive energy.”

- Xavier F.

(5) I found comfort in podcasters and YouTubers going through the same thing.

“I know it sounds cheesy, but hearing other people’s experiences on podcasts or YouTube helped a lot. More specifically, Anything Goes With Emma Chamberlain was my go-to: She talks about relatable everyday topics, including her personal relationships, while also explaining how she grew from her experiences and rebuilt her self-esteem.”

- Allison T.

(6) I reframed the breakup as an opportunity to nurture the other relationships in my life.

“The loss of my romantic relationship helped me realize that I wasn’t exactly prioritizing the other people in my circle, which allowed me to focus on strengthening my connections with friends and others I care about.”

- Keion W.

(7) I intentionally gave myself time to just…grieve.

“However, I made sure not to let the sadness govern my entire day. So 30 minutes of crying - then I’d say to myself, That’s it for today, and I’d move on. I also tried to occupy my time with new hobbies, like yoga, which helped me find myself (and what makes me happy) again.”

- P.K.

(8) I learned to find “closure” without them.

“Even if my ex were to tell me everything I wanted to hear, I realized that would only provide temporary comfort. At the end of the day, I was still going to be hurt regardless, and the only person who could get myself out of bed each day was me.”

- Katrina A.

(9) I wrote down a list of every red flag and bad memory.

“Then I reread it when I was missing my ex, to remind me that the relationship ended for a reason.”

- Alby S.

(10) I got back out there as soon as possible.

“I started dating shortly after my breakup, but only casually (which I communicated to my dates up front, out of respect). It served as a reminder that there are absolutely more fish in the sea and that some connections are only intended to be temporary.”

- Alexandra W.

(11) I reminded myself that healing doesn’t happen in a straight line.

“I felt reassured knowing that it’s okay (and normal) to feel totally fine one day and have a ‘setback’ a few days later. That doesn’t diminish your progress.”

- Julia F.

(12) I learned to separate my relationship from the rest of my identity.

“After my breakup, I actively took the time to unwrap my ex from who I am. Spending time with my friends and indulging in my favorite activities, like reading and exercising, helped me retain my sense of self and move on.”

- Julian S.

(13) I let myself feel the pain - and reassured myself it wouldn’t last forever.

“Even though it was really uncomfortable, I would remind myself that these negative feelings would pass with time - no matter how devastating my breakup seemed at that moment. So now I tell other people going through something similar: Don’t try to sidestep the temporary pain, sadness, or loneliness. It will only prolong your healing process.”

- Abriana S.

Editor: Jenna Ryu

Jenna Ryu is SELF's Lifestyle Writer based in New York, covering topics ranging from beauty to mental health to relationships. She previously was a Wellness Reporter at USA TODAY and received her BA in psychology and journalism at Georgetown University.