IG作文(3): 如何让文字生动——不要作概括

无论是叙事(Narrative)作文，还是描述(Descriptive)作文，要想文字生动扣人心弦，就不要作概括。

概括性文字多的作文读起来像论文摘要，句句都在概括发生的事情，而非在实际场景中展示这一切。如果你真的在写论文摘要，使用概括性文字倒也无妨，但不是为你的IG作文。判卷官读者不只是想知道发生了什么，他们想知道具体细节。

例1：

我在一辆油布覆盖的卡车车箱后部发现了一具尸体。

如果这是一部悬疑小说，或者是一个主人公发现一具尸体的高情感场景，读者希望看到那个悬疑的时刻，但“发现尸体”这样的四个字并不能在读者脑海中创造出一个形象。

修改后的样子：

我爬到卡车车厢后面，掀开油布。一股令人作呕的恶臭逼得我踉跄后退。死者空洞的眼睛回盯着我。我用手捂住嘴，忍住没有发出尖叫。

如果你不确定你是在展示详细动作，还是在概括，就试着表演一下你的角色在做什么。如果表演不出来，那你就知道你是在“概括”。

例2：

流浪狗发起了攻击。女孩试图保护自己。

这条狗到底做了什么？跳起？咬人？低吠？女孩到底是怎样保护自己的？踢狗？躲避？

修改后的样子：

流浪狗猛地窜起，露出牙齿。女孩扬起双臂，护住自己的喉咙。

Whether you are writing a narrative essay or a descriptive one, in order for your writing to be vivid and engaging, you should avoid making any summaries.

An essay with lots of summaries reads like a synopsis, as it sums up everything that is happening instead of showing it in actual scenes. That is fine if you are actually writing a synopsis, but not for your IG essay. Examiner readers don’t just want to get a general idea of what happened, they want to see specific details.

For example,

I found the body in the back of the tarp-covered truck.

If this is a mystery novel or a scene of high emotion in which the protagonist finds a dead body, readers want to see that suspenseful moment, but found the body doesn’t create an image in readers’ mind.

An improved version,

I climbed onto the back of the truck and peeled back the tarp. A sickening stench made me stumble back. Sightless eyes stared back at me. I pressed a hand to my mouth, smothering a scream.

If you are not sure if you are showing detailed actions or summing them up, try to act out what your characters are doing. If you can’t, you know you are summing up.

For another example,

The stray dog attacked. The girl tried to defend herself.

What exactly did the dog do? Jump? Bite? Growl? How exactly did the girl defend herself? Kick the dog? Hide?

An improved version,

The stray dog leaped, canines bared. The girl threw up her arms to protect her throat.