An awkward experience

Yesterday, I had an awkward experience in front of many people. I participated in a Toastmasters event and was asked to give a speech on stage. It was an unprepared speech, and I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me as I stepped onto the stage. The theme of the speech was ‘Introduce an animated show to your students.’ The moment I saw the title, my mind went completely blank, and I felt a knot form in my stomach. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

Feeling nervous, I told the host, "I rarely watch cartoons." She smiled and replied, "It can be any cartoon you’ve seen." I could feel my heart racing as I realized I was expected to say something meaningful.

“I feel a little nervous, it’s my first time giving a speech in front of so many people,” I said, my voice trembling slightly. The audience clapped to encourage me, but it didn’t help much. I just wanted to escape from the stage and regretted accepting the invitation. If I had the chance to choose again, I would have refused to come up. Why did I choose to do this?

As I kept talking, I completely forgot about the audience. I was so focused on remembering what to say that I didn’t even notice their reactions. For a moment, it felt like I was just talking to myself, trying to fill the silence. Then, suddenly, something came to mind—I started talking about the cartoon *Tom and Jerry*. I said, "It’s a funny cartoon that can make you laugh and feel happy. If you’re ever feeling down, you can watch it." I added, "I usually watch it when I’m not feeling good or when I can’t sleep."

When I finally noticed the timer holding up the red card, I knew it was over. I missed the earlier signals, but when I saw the red, I felt a mix of relief and embarrassment wash over me. I said, "Thank you!" bowing quickly before hurrying off the stage. The audience clapped again, and the host commented with a smile, "Vic is a little nervous today."

I finally had a moment to breathe when I got back to my seat. I felt a sense of relief, but also a lingering embarrassment about how the speech went. I told myself not to feel too awkward since there were no acquaintances here; I reminded myself that I didn’t need to carry so much pressure.

I also affirmed to myself that I had the courage to try and challenge myself, even when I didn’t feel confident. I reminded myself to reflect on my thoughts and experiences and to learn how to express myself clearly. I realized it’s not just about English—even if I were asked to introduce a cartoon in Chinese, I wouldn’t be able to express myself well. I hadn’t thought about it before, and it made me understand that it’s not easy to introduce something clearly without preparation.